Somewhere around November 2019 I was in tears.
I say somewhere because I can't really remember when it was, it's all a bit of a haze!
I was sitting in the shop with Shelley, in tears.
I'd had some hard conversations with Mr Crochet Birdie, in tears.
Why the tears? I was on the brink of closing my store and I really didn't want too.
I didn't want to loose everything I'd worked so hard for.
I didn't want to loose all my amazing customers, like you.
I didn't want you to loose the beautiful space that I had curated for you.
Sales over the previous few months had been really low and I hadn't been paying myself, or anyone for that matter.
I felt like I was on a shitty hamster wheel.
My emotions were directly attached to my bank balance and I can tell you that my bank balance was low.
Mr Crochet Birdie was so good.
He told me that he didn't want me giving up on my dream but that it had to pay its way, otherwise, what was it all for??
I could totally see his point and after all, I had given up a good paying job to live my dream.
I was so scared.
Petrified in fact.
Petrified to talk to Shelley and tell her that I was thinking of shutting it all down.
But she was amazing.
An amazing voice of reason.
She believed in my dream more than I did at that point.
She believed that what I was working on, what we were working on together, mattered to so many people and that it would get better.
While I was blinded by the gloom, Shelley could see all the glory.
She kept repeating all the positive messages, all the amazing reviews.
Then after some serious soul searching, crying, talking and some more crying I decided to not really do anything at all, not make any rash decisions.
What I did decide to do was talk to a few fellow female business owners.
I surrounded myself with a positive female business environment.
I found out that they too had struggles, lots of struggles.
We spoke about being your own cheerleader.
Cos, who else will?!
So I got some guidance from a cheerleading queen, my business coach, Natalie Tolhopf.
She taught me the power of consistently showing up.
The power of knowing that what I have to say matters.
The power of knowing I have an amazing customer base that wants what I sell.
The power of being your own cheerleader!
Slowly, my confidence grew.
Then my bank balance started to grow.
Slowly, my sales started to improve.
Then I gained more confidence to show up even more.
Fast forward about 18 months and I am SO GLAD I didn't give up on my dream.
This dream of mine continues to grow.
It's still not without it's struggles but nothing good is ever easy.
Now if you are chasing a dream, chase it.
Chase it with all that you have.
Hopefully you get to chase it with an amazing person beside you like I do.
And NEVER doubt yourself.
Because self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
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